The burger that i bought today

[u/chatbel]

[u/joelingo111]

What in God's...

Ok, what were the theoretical ingredients and what are the actual ingredients?

[u/Paleodraco → u/joelingo111]

I'm seeing a too small patty, caramelized onions, maybe mayo or mustard, corn for some reason, and what looks like a very processed, square slice of turkey or ham.

The red thing is a mystery. Could be a tomato or red pepper, but also looks a lot like a shrimp tail.

[u/el_n00bo_loco → u/Paleodraco]

"corn for some reason" sums up my gut reaction perfectly.

[u/subterrane → u/el_n00bo_loco]

I can’t stop laughing at “corn for some reason” and I can’t tell you why. I need this to be a catchphrase.

[u/gahbloodyhell → u/subterrane]

New flair just dropped!

[u/JosephBlowsephThe3rd → u/gahbloodyhell]

[u/sir_moleo → u/JosephBlowsephThe3rd]

KoRn for some reason.

[u/Additional_Yam_8471 → u/sir_moleo]

KoЯn for some reason

[u/Roarkbot3000 → u/sir_moleo]

Koяn for some reason

[u/RealityOk9823 → u/JosephBlowsephThe3rd]

Can freaking hear this gif, and I like it.

[u/InfernalCatfish → u/JosephBlowsephThe3rd]

GO!

[u/R34LEGND → u/gahbloodyhell]

I think i'll take it

[u/Pissed-Off-Panda → u/gahbloodyhell]

[u/sir_moleo → u/subterrane]

"Corn, for some reason" should be Brazil's national slogan.

[u/TipDue3208 → u/sir_moleo]

Or Iowa's

[u/Additional_Yam_8471 → u/sir_moleo]

corn e meu amigo 🎵

[u/Itakethngzclitorally → u/subterrane]

and could be a shrimp tail 🤷

[u/chuckmarla12 → u/subterrane]

We need to print this on a t-shirt.

[u/Dizzy-Geologist → u/subterrane]

Idk if you saw the HBO documentary on cannibalism, but the old Japanese guy talking about “corn appear” has stayed with me for approx 20 years now, I cannot eat corn in any form with out hearing “corn appear” in my head.

[u/Sithstress1 → u/Dizzy-Geologist]

Now I feel like I need to know the context of “corn appear” lol.

[u/CluckKent88 → u/subterrane]

that’s conrtasic!!!!!!!!!

[u/nimrodii → u/el_n00bo_loco]

It's so you can time how long this slop looking burger is in your system.

[u/Automatic_Actuator_0 → u/nimrodii]

“Digestive tracing agent” has a nice ring to it

[u/regeneratedant → u/Automatic_Actuator_0]

C.O.R.N. - Communicating Omni-nutritional Receptors News/nuggets

[u/Additional_Yam_8471 → u/regeneratedant]

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/nimrodii]

I think you'll know when it leaves

[u/Paleodraco → u/nimrodii]

Why i call corn a tracer food.

[u/PetersonTom1955 → u/nimrodii]

The real biological clock!

[u/Sugalumps52 → u/el_n00bo_loco]

"corn for some reason" sums up my bathroom trip perfectly.

[u/DigitalBuddhaNC → u/el_n00bo_loco]

I don't even want to think about my gut's reaction to...whatever that is.

I think I got the bubble guts just looking at it.

[u/Thick_Unit_3163 → u/DigitalBuddhaNC]

Same.

[u/DigitalBuddhaNC → u/Thick_Unit_3163]

Omg I went to check out this reply and scrolled up to remind myself what this was about and that travesty of a "burger" jumped out at me like it was Pennywise.

Gross.

[u/NoBug7967 → u/el_n00bo_loco]

Maybe somebody doesn't understand what corned beef is. There's a supposed beef patty, just add some corn. And now it some sort of corned beef sandwich.

[u/el_n00bo_loco → u/NoBug7967]

I thought you were going to shed some real knowledge on me and there was something I didn't know about some part of the world that serves burgers with random gigantic kernels of corn on top. But I get what you're saying now.

[u/GroundbreakingCup212 → u/el_n00bo_loco]

Corn its not goodbye its ill see you later

[u/zed857 → u/Paleodraco]

square slice of turkey or ham.

It literally is a ham-burger.

[u/Paleodraco → u/zed857]

It looks like a half assed attempt at a breakfast burger, but without the egg.

[u/xDrunkenAimx → u/Paleodraco]

No egg, sub corn

[u/thissexypoptart → u/xDrunkenAimx]

I’m now imagining this note for an omelette order

[u/Lower_Celebration_85 → u/Paleodraco]

I think the egg was barfed onto the burger.

[u/Electrical-Quote-393 → u/Lower_Celebration_85]

It does look regurgitated

[u/Fantastic-Ad8973 → u/Lower_Celebration_85]

This! 🤣😹

[u/dizzyfeast → u/zed857]

Now im wondering why we even call it a hamburger to begin with

[u/pru51 → u/dizzyfeast]

From hamburg germany?

[u/Chemlab5 → u/pru51]

No they are steamed hams and they are from Utica

[u/GlykenT → u/dizzyfeast]

Hamburg steak

[u/MuscaMurum → u/GlykenT]

Cf. Frankfurt Sausage

[u/EighthPlanetGlass → u/zed857]

[u/Horror-Strawberry401 → u/Paleodraco]

[u/Serperion → u/Paleodraco]

Theres fucking corn on it too, the fuck lmao

[u/Flassourian → u/Serperion]

I mean it wouldn't surprise me if this was the UK. They seem to put corn on everything. LOL

[u/Briguy_fieri → u/Paleodraco]

This looks like a plate lunch cafeteria sandwich. It kinda looks like a Salisbury steak/meatloaf burger. I think that's gravy instead of mayo/mustard (gravy also could explain the red thing being a pepper). This also could explain why there's corn as they probably reused the same spatula scoop thing.

I have no reasoning for the ham thing unless that's like .. a weird piece of swiss or some other cheese

[u/thetoerubber → u/Briguy_fieri]

This reminds me of when I was in Guatemala a few years ago and even at Burger King, ham was a common add-on to their burgers, like cheese. They even ask if you want to add it.

[u/pxkatz → u/Paleodraco]

Shrimp tail is, what I thought as well. Either way, I'm not eating it. The burger looks, way overcooked!

[u/Prestigious_Tap_6301 → u/pxkatz]

Overcooked is the least of our concerns

[u/AggressiveMango620 → u/joelingo111]

Brazilian burgers as sold in Portugal (no clue if it's authentic to Brazil) frequently have a slice of ham, corn, cheese sauce, crispy potato sticks and a myriad of other ingredients like egg, chicken hearts, sausage, etc.

I'm assuming this burger is trying to be something of that variety...

[u/Ok-Comment8409 → u/AggressiveMango620]

My thoughts as well. I frequently make Brazilian style burgers. This one is very poorly executed and give Brazilian burgers a bad name.

[u/still_stunned → u/Ok-Comment8409]

I’m fairly certain chicken hearts on any burger are going to give it a bad name.

[u/23NPee → u/joelingo111]

🤌

[u/Free_Plum9652 → u/joelingo111]

Bacon pattie what I'm hoping is mustard maybe cheese. Jellified cow hoof and vomit after eating curry

[u/Julieb600506 → u/Free_Plum9652]

It doesn't even look that good!! What is that thing on the other side of the bun

[u/camlloc255 → u/Free_Plum9652]

Cow hoof was my first horrifying thought as well 🤢

[u/Quick_Extension_3115 → u/Free_Plum9652]

The corn must be from the cow hoof, then cause the cow stepped in it while it was still alive

[u/throwingutah → u/joelingo111]

That looks like someone just shit in the container, tbh.

[u/RabidOtters → u/throwingutah]

We'll advertise it as "homemade"

[u/InquiringMind14 → u/RabidOtters]

And "all natural"

[u/cynical-mage → u/joelingo111]

And more importantly, whyyy are you touching whatever the hell that thing is with your bare hands?! 🤮

[u/raps_BAC → u/joelingo111]

Lmao

[u/ThermoPuclearNizza → u/joelingo111]

Theoretical ingredients: gas station cheeseburger

Actual ingredients: gas station cheeseburger

[u/Bravisimo → u/joelingo111]

Beef patty and 1 entire block of spam.

[u/mariatoyou]

Why is there corn?

[u/sierrabravo1984 → u/mariatoyou]

Also why is there ham? What kind of burger is this?

[u/SecondHandSmokeBBQ → u/sierrabravo1984]

It's a slice of camel back strap.

[u/Shiznoz222 → u/SecondHandSmokeBBQ]

Jesus fucking christ lol

[u/popopornado → u/Shiznoz222]

[u/Shiznoz222 → u/popopornado]

[u/Dry_Letterhead_7984 → u/Shiznoz222]

I laughed so hard at this shit had me wheezing!

[u/drivebyjustin → u/sierrabravo1984]

A ham burger taken literally.

[u/makingkevinbacon → u/sierrabravo1984]

"Ham comes from pig too...I'm sure even tho they asked for bacon it's all the same" Burger guy probably

[u/RatherGroggy → u/sierrabravo1984]

This also seems suspiciously British

[u/Aletheia-Nyx → u/RatherGroggy]

If it is, we're throwing them off the island. This is a crime, and we can make a decent burger.

[u/Fukuro-Lady → u/RatherGroggy]

I can assure you that no self respecting British person would put sweetcorn on a burger 😂

[u/FrozenPizza21 → u/sierrabravo1984]

what kind of burger is this?

a HAMburger, obviously

[u/Chimpbot → u/mariatoyou]

I didn't even notice the corn at first. I couldn't get past the slice of ham.

This is one of those pictures where the more time you spend looking at it, the worse it gets.

[u/bunny_the-2d_simp → u/mariatoyou]

IT HAS THE JUICE!

[u/Toes_In_The_Soil → u/mariatoyou]

Tracer rounds. So you know how long it took you to digest that monstrosity.

[u/bcd051 → u/mariatoyou]

Increases my thought that this is actually poo

[u/Fit_Memory6669]

They hated you, clearly

[u/Belvik → u/Fit_Memory6669]

To be fair, I also hate them now for making me see that abomination.

[u/elektrik_noise → u/Belvik]

If OP didn't divulge it was a "burger", I would have no idea what that vomit inducing creature from the black lagoon was. Even despite the small hockey puck that was served, the thing is an abomination from hell.

[u/tandem_kayak → u/elektrik_noise]

I thought this one one of those 'is this an abscess in my meat' posts

[u/BUROCRAT77 → u/elektrik_noise]

Pretty sure that is vomit

[u/Fit_Memory6669 → u/Belvik]

So OP deserved it? 😭🤣

[u/PackageNorth8984 → u/Fit_Memory6669]

It looks like the topping was some half-cooked chicken.

[u/SixFive1967 → u/PackageNorth8984]

Or ham? Whatever it is, it looks rancid AF. 🤢

[u/njfran39]

Someone took the term HAMburger a little too literally

[u/sbvp → u/njfran39]

I want my burger to have a smack of ham to it

[u/ItSmellsLikePopcorn → u/sbvp]

Hot ham water

[u/HighFiveKoala → u/ItSmellsLikePopcorn]

Steamed hams

[u/geek180 → u/sbvp]

So waaatery

[u/1800generalkenobi → u/njfran39]

restaurant I worked at had a HAMburger which was actually really good. Middle of PA so it was basically a hamloaf in burger form haha

[u/Odd_Insurance8400]

Where did this happen to you? What country was this in so I can never go there.

[u/Dounce1 → u/Odd_Insurance8400]

My money’s on Brazil.

[u/wandering_ghostt → u/Dounce1]

Ecuadors burgers were like if someone saw a burger across the room one time and tried to recreate it off memory. But boy do they know how to cook a banana in every way possible lmao

[u/HeadmasterUmbridge → u/Dounce1]

Yea for sure south america. This looks like a hamburger I got in Colombia

[u/Afraid_Muffin1607 → u/Odd_Insurance8400]

Looks like the crap you get served from a ghost kitchen when ordering from a random spot on doordash

[u/Z_WarriorPrincess → u/Odd_Insurance8400]

I’m between somewhere in Europe or a random American Arby’s

[u/BobertRosserton → u/Z_WarriorPrincess]

An Arby’s sandwich would spit on this burger, they don’t skimp on portions and at least would look semi appetizing lmao.

[u/ToughCamel6208 → u/Z_WarriorPrincess]

I hate people hating on Arby's. It's actually so good. Hating on Arby's is getting as old as hating on Nickleback. Move on.

[u/JawtisticShark → u/ToughCamel6208]

I only hate on Arby’s because back in the day I could get 5 roast beef for $5 and today it’s almost $5 for one.

[u/BlitzerCL → u/JawtisticShark]

That’s not really an Arby’s problem it’s more of a shitty economy and inflation problem

[u/IndividualFun1892 → u/ToughCamel6208]

I know like not saying I go out of my way to go to Arby’s but can we just admit those curly fries are bomb?

[u/eamceuen → u/ToughCamel6208]

Arby's is delicious!!

[u/JustPlayDaGame → u/Z_WarriorPrincess]

hating on Arby’s is so forced, it’s not gourmet but it still slaps

[u/Z_WarriorPrincess → u/JustPlayDaGame]

I didn’t realize this was such a controversial take 😭 when I was a kid, one of my friends growing up, any time I spend the night at her place, her family would exclusively eat Arby’s. I had always disliked it but forced myself anyways or I’d starve.

One day the father got really upset that I had ordered a sandwich that was slightly more expensive than the other’s. I hadn’t realized and I felt so bad. I would have changed my order but he didn’t start yelling about it until after we were home. Now I also associate Arby’s with that memory and forced sandwiches

[u/scorpionhlspwn → u/Z_WarriorPrincess]

What the shit? How about people dont yell at a kid for asking for a food choice! Damn, sorry that happened to you.

[u/jonni_velvet → u/Odd_Insurance8400]

definitely has to be somewhere near the UK

[u/Hmmark1984 → u/jonni_velvet]

Absolutely not, i've lived here all my life and never seen anything even close to this monstrosity. If it does happen to be from somewhere here, i'd put money on it being some weird arse concoction OP either asked for or made himself.

[u/Donkeyscot2013]

OP get back here and explain yourself!

[u/Lebowquade → u/Donkeyscot2013]

Yeah, OP should be equally disappointed in themselves for even ordering and intending to eat this abomination.

[u/Excellent-Log7169 → u/Donkeyscot2013]

I feel the same way. I'm not giving an upvote until I get some god damned answers. WHAT did he order and for the love of god WHY?!

[u/petrh97 → u/Donkeyscot2013]

OP is stuck at a toilet without phone.

[u/Its_a_stateofmind]

[u/MultiverseTonight]

[u/DJSairys]

[u/Notdone_JoshDun]

Theres a lot going on with this "burger"

[u/Argylius → u/Notdone_JoshDun]

Yeah there’s a lot to unpack here

[u/Fall_Harvest → u/Argylius]

Lets not and just bury it somewhere deep in a concrete vault and pretend it never happened.

[u/Delicious-Hour-1761 → u/Argylius]

If I attempted to eat that, my guts would unpack it pretty damn quick, that is for sure.

[u/OtherwiseSoftware379]

I don't understand what I'm looking at... is that corn? and ham?

[u/NoLie129]

Gross 🤮

[u/minnygoph → u/NoLie129]

Right?! I feel like he was just showing us how tiny the actual burger is, but I can’t see past how disgusting everything else looks. Nasty.

[u/Fall_Harvest → u/NoLie129]

I wonder what ate it before he did 🤮

[u/LilNan4]

[u/rock4d]

It’s peanut butter and onions?

[u/Sandcracka- → u/rock4d]

PB ham and onions

[u/Gudi_Nuff → u/Sandcracka-]

And some corn on the top bun too

[u/Significant-Cloud-]

Oh look, a McVomit!

[u/ozzygurl]

TF

[u/McBooples]

[u/CyberDonSystems]

I see the problem, a baby took a shit on your burger.

[u/Serperion]

What the fuck is that

[u/No_Squirrel4806]

It looks like those cow hoof videos

[u/True_Horror_6]

Nasty 🤢

[u/Buttholepart2]

[u/chinsnbirdies]

Is this… is this even edible?

[u/Yamdam]

That is like Satans rectum

[u/aj0457]

Wtf is that.

[u/Fnkt_io]

Putting the ham in hamburger

[u/Charming-Problem-804]

It's not mildy infuriating, it's fully infuriating.

[u/foolishbullshittery]

That looks yummy

... said no one, EVER!

[u/lockituup]

I’ve had a better looking burger from a gas station.

[u/Aggressive-Sir4112]

I call bullshit

[u/coolcodez → u/Aggressive-Sir4112]

I agree. No reference, no advertisement, no location and no engagement from OP

[u/tokudama]

Steamed ham???

[u/i_am_an_enigma]

This has gotta be a joke

[u/ATXMark7012]

"Everything on it" doesn't usually mean the random assortment of, I hesitate to use the word food, umm stuff that is on this burger.

[u/TheRhupt]

someone puked on a bun

[u/IllTransporter]

What the fuck is that

[u/friedtoasters]

Horrific. That looks like the nasty patty From SpongeBob! This would’ve killed the health inspector lmao!!!

[u/Ornery_Brief_2743]

I can smell this picture…

[u/madamcacti]

[u/Impressive_mustache]

This is only mildly infuriating?

[u/Murky_Tennis954]

[u/8yourheart]

this looks like something that the chum bucket would serve

[u/ryans_bored]

They took hamburger a little too literally

[u/MessMysterious6500]

Someone that “made” this either 1) shit 💩 on a burger bun, 2) puked 🤮 on a burger bun or 3) all of thee above onto the burger 🍔 bun

[u/PosingAsCinephile]

Where? I need to make sure im never within a 50 mile radius of this place

[u/the_good_hodgkins]

But how did it taste?

[u/Snopro311]

Reminds me of the scene in falling down when Michael Douglas character goes into whammy burger and get a flacid sandwich

[u/Grove-Of-Hares]

[u/SpaceTraveler221]

This belongs in the sub shitfromabutt

[u/selene00026]

ham and corn on a burger is crazy 😭

[u/casketjuicebox]

Looks like it's had a rough life....

[u/Prudent_Sherbert_568]

What the hell is that!

[u/Agitated-Ad-504]

EHHHYUCKK. Straight from a butt

[u/Misher_Masher]

Damn thing looks like it's come pre-chewed and half digested already.

[u/BeenBanned69Times]

You bought a burger that apparently came with corn on it. You get what you deserve

[u/ReturnSad3088]

[u/Mortifying_]

…. IS THAT HAM? 🤣🤣

[u/Vegetable-Section-84]

🤢😳🤢

[u/brandonhabanero]

That burger looks like it has trench foot.

[u/DaddieTang]

[u/beardeddragon0113]

[u/NationalGolf1283]

Thats a slider

[u/Dull_Addition1802 → u/NationalGolf1283]

If he eats it, he’s gonna slide right into a hospital bed.

[u/One_Relief8832]

[u/Mysterious_Spirit634]

Nuuh uhh ! You lying!! 🤥

[u/RacerXrated]

[u/LivinRightNBeinFree]

Looks like they used the leftover breakfast sausage pattie for your hamburger.

[u/BallsDeepAndBroke]

That is truly disgusting 🤢

[u/BarkingAtTheGorilla]

Why the fuck does that look like it's got peanut butter and a slice of ham on it?! I wouldn't even eat that when high!

[u/ShrimpHog47]

Do I see corn

[u/AalphaQ]

Very intriguing... I had no idea you could just go and buy prison food.

[u/dickvanexel]

So OP has no description of intended ingredients versus actual ingredients, if they are it or not, did they get their money back, or where they even bought it. SMH, name and shame.

[u/Accurate_Group_5390]

How much was this abomination

[u/Electrical_Can594]

That burger looks like somebody took a shit piss out their fart dick.

[u/Mediocre-Stick-7787]

🤢🤢🤮

[u/vragal]

Wtf is that supposed to be?

[u/No_Paramedic_2039]

Thoughts and prayers